The Motorola Droid. Quit possible one of my favorite purchases to date. That little thing truly does everything. It turns the ringer off for me at night when I go to sleep and puts it on vibrate Mon-Fri while I’m at work. The background wall paper tells me what time of day it is by changing its picture during sunrise, sunset, day and night. I can customize just about every single aspect of the phone from individual text messages to weather widgets. In a nutshell, it’s freakin’ awesome.
With the rollout of the 2.1 software came an exciting new feature called talk to text in which you can talk to the phone for your emails and text messages and it will type out what you say. Too bad Droid doesn’t really speak English. Or any other decipherable language. I’ve had nothing but good laughs from some of the stuff Droid spits out when I’m trying to respond to texts. Like this morning when my friend sent me a text asking if my stomach, which hurt earlier, felt better. I replied via the voice option, “thanks, it does.” Droid replied, “thanks id tags.”
So just for the hell of it I thought I would try some popular movie phrases on my Droid.
Me: It’s nothing personal Sonny, it’s just business.
Droid: Personal funny business (yes, yes it is)
Me: I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.
Droid: All mega man offer he can’t refuse (remember that game? Ah, Nintendo)
Me: 2nd star to the right and straight on until morning.
Droid: 2nd start to the right on dental morning.
Ok, at least we can kind of see where Droid may have heard the wrong thing. Then there were the phrases that just made no sense when Droid rehashed them:
Me: You’re dumber than a bag of hammers.
Droid: Cumberland of work.
Me: Don’t be hatin’ you fool!
Droid: Gumby Houston.
What? I thought I would give Spanish a try:
Me: Muy bien (translation: very good)
Droid: We b n.
Me: No me gusta esta programa (translation: I don’t like this program)
Droid: The best program (getting defensive here!)
Me: No me gusta pinche puta (I don’t like it f-ing bitch)
Droid: Appeal to the present (guess Droid doesn’t like Spanish cuss words)
Then I started trying to talk directly to Droid. Give it a little tough love. It replied back. I am not making any of this up:
Me: Droid will your program ever work?
Droid: Drug rehab program ever work (how rude!!!)
Me: No really, are you ever going to work right or will you always mess up?
Droid: we’ve ever want to work right are you a weakling nasa.
Getting nasty!
Me: Quit being such a stupid bitch!
Droid: I think you’re a stupid ######!
I swear it said that!
Me: Now I think you’re mocking me, are you mocking me?
Droid: I think you’re mocking near you mocking me.
Ok, only slightly retarded, but Droid and I made up. I’ve decided that the coolness of all the features Droid has to offer aren't lessened by the fact that it doesn’t listen very well. Most of the men in my previous relationships didn't listen well either and I didn’t kick them to the curb because of it. I kicked them to the curb because they sucked. And Droid kicks ass.
Me: It’s ok Droid, you’re still my favorite phone and I love you.
Droid: If that ain’t right you’re still my favorite found an island.
Ah, I love my phone.
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