Peace....Finally!

Never thought in a million years I would find inspiration and solace from a San Diego Chamber of Commerce event. And yet, here I am.

Yesterday started as ordinary as any. Still woke up, worked out and spent 9 hours of life at my desk. Right at the 5 o'clock mark I packed up my stuff and headed to the Ronald McDonald House where last night's event was to be hosted. I actually coordinate volunteer efforts for them in the form of a little drive I have aptly named "Toiletries for Families" in an effort to obtain unused hotel toiletries from all of our company travel for use by the families of ill children residing at the House. As I walked into the beautifully remodeled structure, all of the steadily rising rage and confusion building up this past week suddenly melted away. I remembered where I was and who this very building was created for, and it forced me to stop for a moment and be grateful for all that I have.

I have my health. True, I am subjectively neurotic and a control freak, but dammit I spent an hour at spin class yesterday morning and plan to run on lunch today. I am healthy! And I have my family; a wonderful, loving, complete family. The families at the House are struggling to keep their's together. I have a great job, and clothes on my back, and food (sometimes too much) in my belly. I am the luckiest person in the world!

And just like that, peace. No more worry about disappearing men, online dating, or what tomorrow will hold. Just an overwhelming sense that right then, in that moment, for me, everything was going along just fine. And I was grateful.

I want to leave you with a video of some incredibly inspiring and overwhelmingly talented children that played jazz for us during the event. A little off the subject? Maybe. But the shear genius and passion exhibited by these kids added to my attainment of peace for the evening. To have a passion like that again! They reminded me of a time when I found that much love behind the keys of a piano, only 18 years ago (yes I'm old). Not to mention they impressed the hell out of me. Enjoy!

A Day of Weird

This has been one of the weirdest days and it's not even over!  First, the guy I've been dating for a tiny bit, a guy I've talked to either via phone or text for the past two weeks, just up and disappears.  Poof!  No sign of him anywhere.  Then, a girl I've had beef with for over 8 months because she hated the fact I lived on the same planet as her decides to randomly write me a heart-felt apology email today via Facebook.  THEN, I find out they want me to wear tan slacks with the bright blue and gray shirt I'm forced to don at our tradeshow in New Orleans next week.

I know, tan pants with blue and gray?  Sick!!!!!!!!

No really, I normally can make sense of what the universe is trying to tell me, but today seems like one of those strange dreams I can't wake up from.  You know, the kind where you really have to go to the bathroom but every toilet is dirty in the public restroom you're in that just so happens to be in outskirts Kansas and Tyra Banks is there hogging up the vanity.

Or maybe that's just me. 

So here's how I handle my weird; I put out an APB out on the guy (meaning I monitor the news stations for any sudden accidents but for the most part chalk it up to he's not that into me), accept the apology from the chick (but question the intentions behind it in my response email) and maintain the position that I do not now, nor will I ever, own, a pair of tan slacks.  And if I did, they would never go with an electric blue shirt.  Because that's just weird.

Fingers crossed nothing else weird happens.....

The Emasculation of a Generation

I write this in the hopes of helping single men understand part of what women are thinking. There is tide of singledom that is plaguing our generation and it must be stopped.

Here’s my experience with dating for the last few years: I meet a guy. He pursues me for a few phone calls. Then I take it upon myself initiate the first phone call/text message/Facebook chat or whatever. Suddenly, the responsibility to contact him consistently becomes mine. The woman. If I don’t call/text/write he never will. Until of course I get that text two weeks later asking why I didn’t call.

Huh? Since when did that become my responsibility?

Case in point: I’ll call this guy Team Jacob because he looked like Taylor Lautner. Team Jacob called me a few times. We went on two really great dates. Then I tried to text message him because I figured it was my turn. Got one word answers. So I waited for him to text me. I did receive a text….two weeks later, asking why I hadn’t “hit him up.”

And the guy was in genuine shock as to how I had gotten tired of waiting around for him and had moved on.

Men, this idea that women are supposed to chase you has just got to stop! Yes, the equalization of the sexes has come a long way, but not so far as to reverse the roles completely! Most women want a MAN, the James Bond type that hones you in on his radar and goes in for the kill. A hunter who pursues his prey in a cunning and sexy way, engaging in a tireless chase until he earns his prize. We don’t want you to let us plan the whole date from first call to the reservation and just have you show up to pay. Goddammit, grab hold of us, slap us over your shoulder and drag us away! Growl, roar!!!!

Ok, that’s maybe taking it too far.

But in all seriousness, women are not going to turn into masculine creatures so men shouldn’t adopt all the qualities of feminine ones. Just because women are more take-charge in the work place doesn’t mean men can lose that take-charge charm in relationships we love about them. I know women also carry responsbilities in making a relationship emerge and/or move forward, but I can't even get to the part where we come in if I'm too busy doing all the work getting the thing off the ground. 

So please, for the sake of MANkind, redeem your man points and nut up! Call that girl!

And excuse my feminine rant. It’s a girl thing.

Birthday Card to My New 30-Year-Olds

One of my really good friends just turned 30 last night.  I am still reeling from her crazy party.

And in my state of vegetation and recovery today, I really started thinking about the time I turned 30.  I remember the fear, the utter denial of it all.  How the heck did I get to be 30?  Remember all those cool things I said I would have/do by the time I was 30 (have a house, be married to a fabulous man, have two children, be a gazillionaire?  What the heck happened?

Then the day came and went like any other.  I let my friends buy me martinis and passed out in my friend's guest room, only to wake up the same clutzy, neurotic girl I was the day before.  I did not have any more gray hair or wrinkles than I did the day before.  In fact, the only thing that was around to remind me I had moved into my third decade of existance was the stupid census surveys that I swear are only around to make sure you know that you are aging.

"Check the age group that applies:  20-24, 25-29, 30-34....."

Yeah thanks stupid census crap for reminding me I'm moving up in boxes.

Anyway in like 2 months I'll be moving on up to 31.  And you know what?  I'm cool with it.  I actually really enjoy being in my 30's.  I have and outstanding family, great friends, live in the most beautiful city in the US and am healthier than I have ever been.  What is there to complain about?  I made it this far, and I am greatful.

So to all of you out there turning 30 this year, have no fear.  It's really a pretty awesome age, at least in my opinion.  This is the time you really begin to discover just who you are and who you want to be.  You stop thinking you know everything and start focusing on all the things you want to learn about.  Starting with yourself.

Happy Birthday new 30-year-olds.  And welcome to my box.