Proof That God (and Birds) Have a Sense Of Humor.

I woke up this morning feeling outstanding.  I got plenty of sleep.  My busy days at work would slow today.  And for once I wasn't sick.  Or hungover.  I vowed that today, nothing was going to alter my sense of euphoria.

Then I got down to the parking lot to start my car.  My little blue hybrid I just washed not 4 days ago.  My lovely little driving machine I enjoy showing off at work because it looks like a Lexus (until a Lexus pulls up).  And wouldn't you know, some thoughtless piece of crap bird had decided to turn it into just that: a piece of crap.

I'm not talking about the occasional plop of dookie that happens to land on the roof of your car.  I'm talking about a full on shit massacre of my poor rear windshield.  Just look!

Worst thing is, it wasn't like that when I went to bed at night.  The little bastard took it upon himself to find my car out of all the others and turn it into a standing portapotty.  I even have a covered carport, so he had to crawl under the roof and unload his nasty ass while sitting down comfortably on my roof, like Michael Moore after 3 burritos.  Sick.

And if that wasn't enough, I was luckly enough to discover a moth carcass so neatly attached to the roof near the driver's side door.  Upon closer inspection you will find it is not really a moth carcass at all, but a dried up turd in the shape of a moth the bird's stomach obviously couldn't digest.  Kinda like corn.

Thus my euphoric mood turned to one of both frustration, disgust and mild hysterics.  I guess it's time to wash the car again...